Self hate, self sabotage and denial is probably one of the main reasons you are unconnected with yourself. I promise you no one wants to sit there and listen to you talk down on yourself. People don't want to walk on eggshells around you. Your best friend is tired of you denying something that she watches you do every day. So how do we handle something that we have been doing all of our lives?
First, let's talk about flaws. Don't get it twisted we are not perfact but some flaws can be harmful. For example, my number one flaw was giving my opinion when it was never asked for. I didn't realize that in doing this, I was hurting the people that I cared for. Finally, a friend of mine pulled me to the side and informed me what I was doing. I had two choices, I was either going to continue doing what I was doing knowing I was hurting people and accept this flaw as mine, or do something about it. I took it upon myself and decided that I was only going to give my opinion if someone asked me for it.
By providing myself this solution, I was able to keep my friends but also still be me. I didn't have to change who I was. I was no longer hurting people's feelings and my friends were comfortable being around me. Once I learned this tactic I started doing it with other flaws of mine.
One of my favorite quotes is “If you are not the solution, you are the problem.” I love this quote because it reminds me that there is always a solution. There is no need to stress, yell, or freak out.
In the next blog we will discuss triggers.
Please remember we do not strive for perfection we search for balance so don't beat yourself up. Everyone's lifestyle is different so people will get to this point of understanding at different times. Trying is always better than doing nothing at all.
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