Now that we have talked about flaws and how to handle them, let's discuss triggers. Most people do not discuss their triggers because of fear of rejection Or they see it as a sign of weakness. Instead of dealing with it they hold it in and then later blow up on the person who doesn't even deserve it not understanding why. So how do we first feel comfortable discussing and then learn to handle our triggers.
First, let's change the way we see things that trigger us. How I first battled one of my anxiety triggers is that I looked at it as a lesson to learn about myself, not a weakness. By looking at it this way, I was able to battle this trigger face to face. For example I was so independent when I was younger while dating, I was always in control and everything was done my way because I always thought it was the right way. I would justify myself by saying I've already done it this way, it works every single time so let's just do it my way. In reality, I did not know how to release control. I always had to know what would happen before it happened. I had to have control of my day and my surroundings, that included the people around me. When things didn't go my way, I used to freak out to the point, even my significant other did not want to be around me because it would ruin their day as well.
So tired of being frustrated all the time, I finally decided little by little I was going to release control. It may seem easy but this was an anxiety trigger for me, so it was very hard. Once I allowed a friend to pick a place for us to eat or consider my significant other's way of doing things. I was slowly learning to release control and just go with the flow. I was a lot less frustrated, stressed, and felt like I could breathe. Of course, after learning to do this, I took this tactic and used it on any other triggers that I had. Being open about your triggers to a significant other or friend in the beginning of your relationship not only helps set boundaries, but helps your significant other or friend to get to know you better.
Quote “Your triggers are not emotions to depend on, they are lessons to help you grow. Its time to face you.”
In the next blog we will discuss insecurities.
Please remember we do not strive for perfection we search for balance so don't beat yourself up. Everyone's lifestyle is different so people will get to this point at different times. Trying is always better than doing nothing at all.
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